I have penis envy.

If you have a penis you can't get pregnant. If you have a penis you know for sure when you have orgasmed. If you have a penis you orgasm a lot more easily than the average woman. If you have a penis you are more likely to be paid more. If you have a penis you don't have to try as hard to succeed. If you have a penis you don't have to worry as much about violent attacks. If you have a penis you don't bleed once a month. If you have a penis you don't get debilitating cramps once a month. If you have a penis you don't have to deal with female hormones and the mood swings that accompany them. If you have a penis count yourself lucky!