Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Went to DC for a conference, stayed for a Hurricane!

I came to Washington DC for the weekend to help out with a Model UN Conference and to visit my sister. I was supposed to fly home at 7a on Monday October 29th, but ended up staying till Halloween because my flight was cancelled due to the hurricane, and I was rebooked on a flight home at 7a on Halloween. I went to DC for a conference and ended up staying for a hurricane!

Friday, October 26, 2012

On the road again...

After an amazing week that started with a quick road trip (more on that later) I'm off to Washington DC! I had to be up brutally early this morning which sucks, but it'll be worth it when my plane lands at Reagan Airport! Waiting at O'Hare is always an experience lol.... I can't wait to board my flight so I can nap ^_^

Monday, October 15, 2012

Weekend Update: A Mixed Bag

This weekend was really a mixed bag as far as weekends go. Friday night was super fun! I went with some of my friends to a Latin Club in Chicago and had a great time sipping cheap drinks and dancing. I spent the night at a friends place so I wouldn't have to drive home, and in the morning we went out for breakfast! Yummy! :) The rest of Saturday was okay too. By the time I got home I was SUPER tired seeing as how we stayed out till 5a and then woke up at 10a so I took a nap. After I woke up, I ate dinner and then went bowling with Bill. He and I had a great time bowling, and afterwards we chilled at the lounge discussing our plans for Sunday.
Cranberry and Grey Goose from the Club
The bowling alley Bill and I went bowing at.

Sunday however, was less fun. Bill and I had been planning on spending the day at the forest preserve going for a walk, but mother nature refused to cooperate. It was pouring rain and storming for most of the day, and we even had a tornado warning. I also woke up in excruciating pain from cramps that was also a gift from mother nature, and spent the whole day drowsy and semi-high from all the Advil I had to take to not be in pain. I tried to get together with Bill later in the day, but I was just too tired. I ended up watching the Packers slaughter the Texans on Sunday Night Football, and then fell asleep catching up on the last season of Supernatural.
It was an embarrassing blowout...

While Friday was a lot of fun, and Saturday was good too, I would have much rather spent my Sunday doing something other than feeling miserable and watching a team I hate win in a blowout. Next weekend I'm supposed to go out of town for a friends birthday and to Paintballing and zip lining so hopefully next weekend will be better!

Ugh... It's Monday again...

Usually I happen to kind of like Mondays, as I actually enjoy my full time work and I especially enjoy what I usually do on Monday, but thanks to a timely visit from mother nature I am BEYOND tired. Between staying up later than I should have catching up on episodes of Supernatural (It was the last 3 episodes of last season... I just could NOT stop watching!) and being drowsy from all the pain killers I'm on because mother nature HATES me I'm am just exhausted! All I can think is just Ugh... I need a nap! I was supposed to spend all day with Bill yesterday, but I had to bail on him because I was so drowsy/ in pain. I know this will probably come in handy when it's time for me to have children because I'll have super strong muscles for pushing out babies, but until then this is just another one of these days when it SUCKS to be female!

Friday, October 12, 2012

Happy Friday!!

Short post this time... Happy Friday Everybody!

10 Day You Challenge: 8 Fears

8 Fears
1. Death
2. An airplane crashing while I'm on it.
3. Surgery
4. Wasps. Those nasty little buggers sting, and I have yet to be stung by a wasp or a bee.
5. Disappointing my parents
6. Having my car stolen AGAIN
7. Getting pregnant, I'm not ready for kids yet.
8. Not being able to start a family when I AM ready.

10 Day You Challenge: 9 Loves

Nine Loves
1. I love my family which includes my two cats.
2. I love my friends.
3. I love my iPhone.
4. I love my car.
5. I love my macbook.
6. I love Chocolate.
7. I love wine and beer.
8. I love watching Football, particularly the Chicago Bears.
9. I love Sex

10 Day You Challenge: Ten Secrets

I saw this on another blog and thought that it was a really great idea. I'm a little late to the game so I'll post the first three today to catch up. To all the other bloggers out there I suggest you join the challenge too!

Ten Secrets
1. I'm really terrible at keeping secrets. I just don't believe in them.
2. I am obsessed with Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
3. I failed a whole bunch of classes in college. I don't do well at things like studying and I got wrapped up in my extra curricular's which also brings me to...
4. I have ADHD.
5. I was severely depressed earlier this year. I've since started seeing a psychiatrist and I am doing a LOT better.
6. There is still a part of me that wishes I could get back together with my ex. It's a small part, but it's there.
7. I didn't lose my virginity till after I turned 24.
8. I have smoked weed. I've tried it a few times, but I don't really like it.
9. When I was 17 and my parents were out of town I went to a dance club I wasn't allowed to go to.
10. Last year when my parents were out of town I threw a party in their house... they still don't know lol

Simple Single Girl Life: I Sometimes Wish I Was A Guy....

It turns out I'm not the only woman out there who recognizes that men have it SO much easier than us! I mean COME ON! We have periods, we make only 75 cents for every $1 a man makes in the US, we have all these ridiculous "fashion rules" we have to follow, and we are WAY more emotional.  I thought I covered this when I said I have penis envy. However, the fact that there are other women out there who feel like I do? It just makes the point hit home harder!

Simple Single Girl Life: I Sometimes Wish I Was A Guy....: That's right ladies...I sometimes wish I was a guy. Don't get me wrong I love who I am but I just feel like being a girl sometimes is jus...

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Coffee Talk Week 5

Okay... so this is my first time doing Coffee Talk, but it seemed like a cool way for people to get to know more about me other than what's going on in my love life ;) (more on that soon btw!). So here goes!

p.s. if you have your own blog you may want to participate in Coffee Talk as well ;)

1. Pancakes or waffles?
I like both... it really depends what I'm in the mood for.
2. What is your go-to meal?
Homemade Macaroni and Cheese! It's one of the easiest things to make at home. Especially when I'm short on time or ingredients!
3. What is your "must have" snack while watching a movie/TV show?
For movies in the theater? Popcorn! I've got to have it! At home though I'll snack on almost anything.
4. What is your guilt food(the kind where you are sad, lonely, etc. )?
Chocolate, wine, and anything greasy.
5. What kind of food do you eat that is so disgusting to others and you are embarrassed to tell? Come on! Fess up!
The only thing that I can think of that others find disgusting is fish. I'll eat almost anything that comes from a large body of water. I've had caviar, calamari, frog legs, clams, muscles, and whole bunch of other sea creatures.

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

I'm afraid...

Last night I finally went to Bill's house for the first time. I went over there for "game night" with his friends. I had a lot of fun. It helped that of the three different card games we played I won all three lol. I guess I had beginners luck on my side. Bill's friends were really nice and I had a great time. I'm looking forward to going back next week. Bill also has this adorable black cat who is just the sweetest and most playful creature. I can tell that Bill is noticing that I have my walls up and I've been somewhat evasive. He is always trying to get to spend more time with me, and I feel like I'm always saying "no". I'm working on being more available to him, but it isn't easy. Not only am I super busy lately with everything, but I'm very much afraid of getting hurt.

The other issue is that I haven't slept with him yet. Usually by this point in the relationship I've already done that, and I'm afraid that sex could be an issue. Part of why I've always slept with guys early on is that I want to make sure that we're physically compatible before I invest any time getting to know them. The problem is that in the past that has almost always led to my being used. This time I was determined to do it right, so I haven't slept with him, but now I'm scared to death that if something goes wrong I'll either lose someone I've spent a lot of time with, or I'll no longer be attracted to him. I realize that I'm going to have to sleep with him soon though, because we're already boyfriend and girlfriend, I'm running out of excuses, and honestly I haven't had sex in 2 months and could really use some action.

There is one other issue I'm concerned about.... I'm not in love with Bill. Not yet anyway, and part of that is because I haven't fully brought my walls down. However, I'm beginning to be concerned that he is falling in love with me. This concerns me because it is REALLY awkward when one person says I love you and the other one doesn't say it back. When Bruce first told me that he loved me, I was pretty sure I was already in love with him too. He told me that I didn't have to say it back, but even though I'm not sure I was ready to say it back I said it anyway. I'd already accidentally texted it to him earlier that week, so I knew the feelings were there. I had just never said it before to a man so saying it was a big deal for me. I would very much like to fall in love again, but because of what happened with Bruce I know that I'm not ready for that yet. I do not want to get hurt like that again, and even though it's making me feel almost emotionally stunted to keep my walls up, emotionally stunted still feels better than heart broken.

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

To my fellow Liberal Sluts:

The above message is an important one that you should remember during your dating years... It's something that we tend to forget as women. So many men will try to get you to do what THEY want and to put THEM first, but we as women need to learn to fight that! No matter what anyone says or thinks about you, you ARE worth it! Just remember that the next time a guy tries to take advantage of you. If someone isn't treating you the way that you want to be treated, then it's time to say goodbye and move on because there is someone out there waiting for you who knows that you are worth it! Just keep telling yourself this because it can get hard from time to time... but that's no reason to give up, no reason to get down on yourself, and no reason to settle. YOU ARE WORTH IT!

It's amazing how things change...

Back when I was dating Bruce I got this photo in a text message from one of my friends. At the time I was very depressed because Bruce never seemed to have time for me. I'd see him once every two weeks for maybe an hour, and he refused to do anything with me for Christmas and New Years. Needless to say my friends were not pleased with him, and I was very unhappy. This was my friends way of encouraging me to finally break up with Bruce. 

Now though, I feel differently about this picture, and I even almost agree with Bruce's stance on the matter. Sometimes, you really just don't have time for someone. I really enjoy going out with Bill and spending time with him, but lately I've needed a lot more "me time" and I don't feel like staying out all night and getting no sleep just to see him. I've learned that in the long run that's crazy and it's better to make sure that I take care of myself, and my health rather than worrying about getting to spend extra time with my boyfriend. Maybe it's because I was in love with Bruce at the time and I'm not in love with Bill. I like him a lot, and there is a potential for love, but it's just not there yet. I will be interested to see how all of this pans out and how I'll feel about this same photo down the road, but for now I feel that while the sentiment is there, practicality wise sometimes you just have to be a little selfish. 

Sunday, October 7, 2012

Letting people in is easier said than done.

This weekend due to my work schedule, and do to the Chicago Marathon I wasn't going to be able to go into the city and go to a dance club or a bar. Instead I spent a wonderful Friday night with Bill. He took me to Olive Garden for dinner, and then he brought me flowers :) We then went bowling, and played pool and at the end of the night he asked me to be his girlfriend. Bill really is the sweetest guy. So far from what I've seen he is everything a girl could ask for in a boyfriend. I always have a great time with him. The only thing is I think that I'm keeping my distance because I'm afraid of getting to close to him. In so many of  my other relationships, particularly with Bruce I got too attached too soon, and ended up getting hurt. I don't think Bill would hurt me like that, but I have no way of knowing for sure. The other thing is that I find myself worrying every time Bill tries to make plans with me that either he is going to fuck something up, or I am going to fuck something up. I'm afraid that I'm going to hurt him just as much as I'm afraid that he's going to hurt me. I really like Bill and when I'm with him I always have a great time and enjoy his company, but the minute that were apart I find myself even avoiding him. When I was with Bruce we were practically inseperable. I looked for any oppurtunity so be with him, but with Bill, the idea of doing something with him makes me somewhat anxious, like I'm afraid he's going to pressure me into doing something I don't want, or I'll do something that I'll later regret. The thing is that Bill hasn't pressured me into anything. I've seen nothing from him to suggest that he would pressure me. Maybe I'm just losing my mind, maybe I'm damaged, maybe I'm just afraid of getting hurt again. The last time I fell in love it hurt like hell, and I'm not sure I'm ready for that, but at the same time I don't want to throw away something so wonderful... I think I've finally solved the puzzle as to why women fall for ass holes... They are just as afraid of having something wonderful and messing it up as men are. When you have something wonderful it's hard, it's work, and it's scary.
These are the beautiful flowers Bill bought me :)

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Hate is very much alive and well

Today I spent some time on facebook going through some of the conservative pages because I had recently read an article online about how there seems to be more hate on facebook than ever before. Sure enough I found MANY MANY examples of hate speech on these pages and it made me sick! You would think that in 2012 you wouldn't see so much racism, hatred, bigotry, and ignorance, but alas you do. Here are some choice examples of real life hatred that I encountered:

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

That feeling when you totally identify with a song...

This song cracks me up! Taylor Swift is CLEARLY describing Bruce! Everything that she describes in this song is something that I've had to deal with with him! lol... I have literally been jamming to this song in the car ALL week because of how much I relate to it! It's always amazing when you find a song that describes exactly how you are feeling, or how you feel about someone!