Sunday, September 2, 2012
Why do I sabotage myself?
Lately I've noticed something about myself... I find someone who likes me, and unless I am instantly attracted to them, or too drunk to care I get uncomfortable around them. It's as if I'm afraid they will make a move on me, even if there is a part of me that wants that to happen. It's because of this I've avoided men that have been interested in me that would have made good boyfriends, pushed them away, or even ignores them altogether. I don't know what it is that makes me so uncomfortable. I've even encountered it in the past with Bruce and Kamil. With both of them there have been several occasions where I was afraid to be fully honest with them about my feelings, and even blown th off because I was afraid they'd make a move on me. Even after I was comfortable with both of them I was always afraid to make the first move unless I was intoxicated. I don't know why I keep stabbing myself in the foot, but I need to figure it out and stop it ASAP because I have a man in my life that is everything I say I want, and he wants me.