Drunken clarity

After a few glasses of wine I know this much: 1) I really like Bill, and I think if I let him in we might get to have a real relationship, but I'm not sure I'm ready to let my guard down. 2) I still have some feelings for Bruce. They will probably dissipate the closer I get to Bill just like my feelings for Kamil dissipated as I got closer to Bruce, but because Bruce was my first real love I don't know if they'll ever fully dissipate. 3) Bruce is single again, however he is currently sick (ironically the same as last year) and he still likes to go MIA. I sometimes wonder if my attraction to Bruce is more physical now than anything else. 4) Tom still isn't speaking to me. This would bother me less if we didn't have a whole bunch of mutual friends, and I didn't miss just chilling with him. I never thought of him as anything more than a friend, but since someone tried to convince him otherwise I guess I'm SOL.