So last night the guy I've been going out with really wanted to do something with me, but I was just way too tired and went home. After having a few glasses of wine it finally hit me and I was just SUPER horny. All I could think about was how badly I wanted to have sex and how long it has been since I've had sex (over a month). Since my ex had texted me the night before about how horny he was I thought that he would be the perfect person to share my frustration with. The reason I did not text the guy I was going out with is because he is a very very sweet guy, and I really like him and I don't want to be too forward with him. Every time I've been forward with a guy in the past it has back fired.
Like I said in my last post my ex is in a complicated situation with his most recent girlfriend where he isn't sure if he is single or not. I was mostly just looking to vent my frustration to him, but he actually turned it into a competition to see if I could make him horny. It was really nice getting back to the usual banter I have with Bruce, we haven't had that in a long time, and I miss that. I enjoyed the competition and sent him a few naughty videos before finally giving up. I'd never had any real intention of going over to his place to hook up because I was WAY too tired and had to be up early for work, but it was still fun to just mess around via text.
The only confusing part about the whole thing is that Bruce was A) all too willing to have a sexually explicit conversation and/or even have sex with me even though he is unsure whether or not he has a girlfriend, and B) he seemed very upset at the idea of being the "other man" in my life. This is particularly interesting because he has been the "other man" several times in the past, including with a friend of his that was cheating on a future friend of mine. Does this means he still has feelings for me? Is his experience with this new woman and the effect of time making him regret leaving me? If he asked me to get back together would I say yes? Especially now that there is someone in my life that may at some point by my boyfriend if everything goes well? Would it be worth it to take him back?
While most of me realizes that getting back with Bruce would be an incredibly STUPID idea, there is still a part of me that wonders if we could have made things work. After all there were a lot of factors in our break up that had nothing to do with our compatibility as a couple, but were just really bad circumstance and timing issues and as they say "the right person at the wrong time is still the wrong person." I know that I still care for Bruce, but do I still love him like that? Could I? Even after everything that he's said and done? Could he still love me? I imagine that these are questions that I'll probably never know the answer to, but they are still there in the back of my mind everyday confusing the hell out of me.